http://azbyka.ru/otechnik/Vladimir_Bogojavlenskij/besedy-o-pravoslavnom-vospitanii-detej/
Have you ever met a person who's not happy when his children pay respect to him?! With all diligence, it's not an easy attempt. However, it isn't easier to bring up a child! Whenever you don't want to be empty in your words you should give them live examples at any time and in any place. To bring up your children it means to bring up yourself in their permanent presence.
Why must parents teach them to live in accordance with the God's commandments during the whole period they receive education in schools and after graduating?
The blissful Augustin considered this and warns us about the importance of children's upbringing received from their parents. According to his words, children are God's gifts to their parents and that's why we foremost and stricter of all will be asked to give an answer about their souls. So, you shouldn't admit that once your children attend schools and have teachers you have already removed from you all the obligations that you had previously. Moreover, to get the expected result in the hard and of vital importance matter of bringing up, you should go hand in hand with school teachers and the church priest who also may help you with this.
If you want your children to bring you joy and consolation, you should prepare them for God and heaven. And the more you teach your children to have duties and take responsibilities towards God, the more they will be able to have the responsibility towards you as their parents.
I would like to write in indelible letters these words in your hearts,"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephes. 6, 4). Go hand in hand with the school! Support, as much as possible, the teachers in the issue of formation and bringing up your children! Admonish your children to the truths of the Orthodox faith, accustom them to piety, diligent prayer and zealous attend of the Liturgy. Set an example for them in all you do by yourself! In the words of wise Solomon,' Put your seeds in their hearts, exactly the seeds of learning and persuasion, both in the morning and in the evening. May your hand never get tired in this sowing.' As ye sow, so shall ye reap!
One more thing, I want you to pay attention, is obedience. You should inspire the children that they are like Jesus if they have obedience to their parents. "And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart." (Luke 2: 51). Don't allow them to be interested in themselves only, to look out for number one! "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." (Pr. 29 : 15)
Or in other words, "Don't give him freedom while he is young, and don't overlook what he does wrong. Whip him while he is still a child, and make him respect your authority. If you don't, he will be stubborn and disobedient and cause you nothing but sorrow. So discipline your son and give him work to do, or else he will be an embarrassment to you." (Sirach 30: 11-13)
To have a right to act like this you shouldn't ask them to do anything too hard to be done or not appropriate to their age. Don't allow them today the things that they were not allowed to do yesterday! Dear parents, please, reach agreement in your prohibitions. It is harmful when mums and dads have different opinions on it and the children are aware of the inconsistencies. Be skilful and make them respect you. Inspire them to true love! Especially be an exceptional example for them by yourselves. Then you might say about your child like this," And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." (Lk. 2: 52)
Honesty, both towards God and people, is another characteristic that must be brought in children. It isn't less important than other qualities of a personality. And without hesitation must be said that it is implanted in the children's hearts at once after birth. Only one thing we should do is to make it stronger and promote its further development. There are two ways of increasing it. The first one is by encouraging the truth all the time. And the second one is by developing the abhorrence of untruth.
What should you do to reach the goal? First of all, trust them at once if you don't have strong arguments to act another way. Don't promise anything you know never will be performed. Also don't allow someone else to lie to your children for only the reason not to hear their whining. Moreover, do not force them in any way to tell lies neither willing nor unwilling. By no means encourage them to use lies only to avoid unpleasant situations and feelings.
Tidiness and diligence are other points to be developed in children. Hardworking people are on the way to success and it keeps them safe in the emotional and moral aspects of their personalities. They'll be cheerful and will accomplish their duties eagerly. Further, in their lives, they will be able to get good performances at their work. They will never expect only others to have duties to fulfil them.
This is not everything about bringing up your children, of course. These are only the starter points in the hard and significant above mentioned matter. These ideas are mostly taken from the Talk on the Orthodox Children's Upbringing by Vladimir, Metropolitan of Kyiv and Gallich. Other points explained in this book are the sense of shame, envy, parental vigilance, the fight against the main vice of the child and about punishment as a means of bringing up. If you find the English version of the book, let us know. Or if you are interested in other topics in this book, please, feel free and also let me know.
Hopelessly, I didn't find the Engish version of the book. The Russian one you may read by following the link: http://azbyka.ru/otechnik/Vladimir_Bogojavlenskij/besedy-o-pravoslavnom-vospitanii-detej/
If you would like to find out more about Metropolitan of Kyiv and Gallich Vladimir, then follow the link: https://oca.org/saints/lives/2011/01/25/100311-st-vladimir-metropolitan-of-kiev-and-gallich
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